Let’s talk about potty training. At our Montessori preschool, we see a lot of exciting milestones—first friendships, first time writing their name, and yes, that triumphant moment when a child proudly announces, “I WENT POTTY!”
We cheer like the Cowboys managed a touchdown. Because honestly? It IS that exciting!
The Montessori Way: Independence, Patience, and Tiny Toilets
In our classrooms, we believe children are capable of amazing things when we give them time, tools, and trust. Potty training (or as we prefer to call it—toilet learning) is no different.
We don’t force. We simply observe each child, introduce the bathroom early, and make it part of their daily routine—just like handwashing or returning work to the shelves.
We start with smaller than average toilets they can manage independently. We keep a million pairs of underwear on standby because we expect accidents. I mean, think about it…Learning to pee in a designated spot is weird when you’ve had a diaper doing all the work.
Signs of Readiness: It’s Not a Race
Here’s the thing: not every child is ready at the same time. Some kids potty train at 18 months. Some aren’t interested until they’re closer to 3. Both are normal! The trick is to recognize the signs your child is broadcasting.
Common signs of readiness include:
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Staying dry for longer stretches
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Showing interest in the bathroom
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Hiding in a corner to poop (a classic)
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Wanting to wear underwear like a big kid
Need a deeper dive? Check out this article from the Mayo Clinic on when and how to start.
What Not to Do (Seriously, Don’t Do These)
We’ve seen it all. Here are a few potty training pitfalls we gently suggest avoiding:
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Pressure: Asking every 10 minutes, “Do you have to go now?” It’s better to set a timer that goes off every half hour and then simply tell them “Let’s try to go potty.”
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Punishment: Accidents happen. Instead of reacting with anger, make them clean it up themselves! For example, if they peed in their underwear and shorts, have them take both off and put new clothes on, then walk the dirty clothes to the washer or hamper. Children are so used to Mom or Dad doing all the work that they typically despise this.
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Potty Training Parties: Yes, they’re a thing. No, you don’t have to do one. But if “single dog mommies celebrating Fluffy’s 2nd birthday” can do it, why can’t you?
Want more what-to-avoid tips? This article from Cleveland Clinic is a great guide.
What Works (According to Our Amazing Teachers’ Years of Experience, and Science)
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Routine: Regular potty times help kids learn the body’s rhythms. Set a timer to remind you to ask them to sit on the toilet and trying to pee: Start with every 30 minutes on the first day, then every hour on the second.
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Clothing they can manage: Small buttons and little zippers are adorable—until you watch your child pee standing next to the toilet because they couldn’t get them off in time. Dress them in LOOSE underwear (at least one size too big) and shorts with an elastic waist.
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Modeling: Yes, toddlers will follow you into the bathroom. Turn their interest into an educational moment (just like we do in our Pre-Primary classrooms). Tell them what you’re doing and why. (Feel free to jot this precious moment down in your child’s baby book later. They’ll just love hearing all about it when you show it to their fiancee one day. 😉
- Read them a potty book while on the toilet! Picture books can help with potty training. Here are some we read often in our Pre-Primary classrooms: “Everyone Poops,” “Once Upon a Potty,” “A Potty for Me!”, and “Let’s Go to the Potty!”. These books offer different approaches, from simply explaining the process with pictures to addressing common fears and using humor.
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Celebration, not bribery: High fives, sticker charts, and the occasional silly potty song go a longgg way.
- Okay, maybe a little bribery: Are you on day two with no success? We recommend giving your child one M&M each time they pee in the toilet. When I potty trained John, he didn’t have a problem with peeing in the toilet, it was pooping he was scared of. We tried everything for a full week with no success, until out of sheer, hair-pulling frustration, we told him that we’d give him a train every time he pooped. We bought 5 Thomas the Train cars and lined them up on a shelf in the bathroom where he could see them. As soon as he pooped (which was barely anything but it counted!), he got to pick one. After that? He couldn’t WAIT to poop on the toilet.
For more ideas, check out ZERO TO THREE’s guide to toilet learning.
What About at School?
We partner with families to support potty training at school. That means:
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We have child-size toilets and potty areas in the classroom
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We encourage bathroom breaks after snacks, naps, and outside time (and we use a timer for those new to potty training)
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We ask children to change themselves but help if they need it when accidents happen (with love and no judgment)
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We communicate with you via our messaging app—so you know how it’s going and can continue the work your child put in that day!
- We encourage parents to get dramatically excited when they pick up if their child did well potty training at school that day. For example, if your child only had one potty accident instead of several, that’s reason to jump up and down and give them a big hug and smile!
Read more on potty training the Montessori way here.
Final Flush
Potty training can be messy, funny, frustrating, and sweet. We’re here for all of it if you have questions or just need an ear — with plenty of wipes and a smile. Whether your child is still showing zero interest or proudly rocking their superhero undies, we celebrate their growth.
And if all else fails, just remember: nobody goes to college in diapers. 😉
~ Shannon Black, Founder/Co-Owner of Jarrell Montessori
