Usually families who discover our school have never heard of Montessori before, but once they’ve had a taste of how well their child does in a Montessori environment…the independence, the connections they make, the manners and thoughtfulness…they realize that their child has unlimited potential and if they weren’t in a Montessori school previously, their child wasn’t even close to reaching their best as a whole person. Since the place your child spends most of their life is with you, it makes sense that if you like the Montessori philosophy to take the next step by learning how to reap the benefits of Montessori parenting at home! Consider this a Cliff Notes version of Montessori Parenting 101. 😉
If the idea of learning how to “Montessori” for parents seems odd, it’s just because you didn’t realize that living as a Montessorian isn’t a curriculum or a daycare, Montessori is a lifestyle. That doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy a bunch of Montessori “toys” (I put quotes around toys because we refer to our materials as work…and materials. 😉 It means that you are helping your child to learn by doing, to run your home and raise your family with a Montessori intention. It means you are modeling the kind of behavior you want your child to internalize, giving them the freedom to make choices (even if you know they are going to struggle or fail), and learn at their own pace. What follows is a quick reference guide with examples of what it means to bring the Montessori philosophy to your life and your child’s life.
Learn by doing…to start
Montessori relies on learning by doing, which you can do by creating hands-on experiences or moments for your child. It may feel frustrating at first if you aren’t used to it, because for this to work, you need to allow your child to take their time and make mistakes (and we fully grown humans are busy people, so this can be difficult). If you visit a Montessori school, then you’ve seen students folding towels, cleaning messes and engaging hands-on with their classroom environment. Same idea for you but with activities that you already need done around your house. Think about how much you do already…putting away dishes, folding clothes and putting them away…your child can do these things, too! And young children WANT to do these things, especially with you. They love helping and love your attention! Here are some examples of activities your child can do or learn to do.
- Cutting fruit and veggies (give them a plastic knife)
- Watering garden
- Folding laundry
- Washing dishes or putting dishes in the dishwasher
- Setting the table
- Putting groceries away
- Choosing clothes to wear
- Putting toys away
- Peeling fruit
- Loading the washer
- Sweeping the floor
- Mopping the floor
- Buttering toast
- Here are some other ideas!
What else is there to creating a Montessori home that doesn’t involve stuff?
Incorporating a Montessori lifestyle is so much more than activities for your child. It’s developing the WHOLE child. It’s about modeling the behavior you want them to instinctually display, like respect for
others and our environment. Being a Montessorian also means utilizing Positive Discipline, which addresses their emotional, social and physical needs in a way that teaches a child self-control and responsibility. A Montessori mindset encourages and praises your child when they are curious and want to learn more. From asking them to help you decide which turns to make to go to HEB or planting a flower next month near your front door, taking a deep dive on more complex activities makes connections in their brain. Quite literally, play creates and builds connections in your child’s mind. And play isn’t just running outside or hanging from the monkey bars. It’s when they are doing something fun and helpful that moves their body, too! So as you think about what you need to get done for your family, ask your child to contribute in a way that gives them choices, respects their abilities and pushes them to see how their efforts are valued and appreciated. Random
cool realization: Texas families are VERY Montessorian in their manners, self-respect and can-do-it-ness, which makes raising your child in the Lone Star State that much easier!
They will need your help along the way though, like giving them things to do that’s on their level (for example, asking them to put away their clothes in their bottom dresser, even though it’s more convenient for you to put their things in the top one) and showing patience or slowing down. Teaching your child to respect others means that you first need to respect their decisions on how they want to do something, even if you know that it’s going to take longer or that they are doing it wrong (and trust me, as your child reaches middle school, you WANT them to be exercising these traits before they decide that their group of friends are way more knowledgeable than you). 😉 Ask them questions that help them to get to the next level instead of telling them or showing them. Which leads me to the next part of living your life in a Montessori way…
Never help children with a task at which they feel they can succeed
Another way of saying, invest in stepstools. 😉 Your child needs to do things for themselves but typically can’t reach anything. Or the items you use to go about your day are too big or heavy for them. Go a little crazy, buy faucet extenders and smaller baskets they can carry if you think they need them. I’ve seen kitchens with microwaves underneath the counters instead of above it and car seats in the middle of the backseat so that they can see where you are going. There is quite a bit you can do to help them help themselves. This also means that you are helping them to be alert to their world. For example, on the way to the park, you can ask them to point out three different shades of green while you also point out that maybe the child playing alone on the slide could use a friend. Encourage your child exercise their compassion as well as their bodies! Practicing a Montessori lifestyle is showing with actions how to be a helpful, thoughtful, kind human, both to yourself and others.
At the heart of the Montessori philosophy is a desire to learn and explore, but not for the sake of simply acquiring information, but rather for the joy of discovery. We also, as Montessorians, take care of each other and our environment. You were probably doing a lot of this already and didn’t realize it. But now that you know, you can expand on it and show your child what they are capable of doing, both for themselves and your family. Living your best Montessori life creates a well-rounded, centered, and self-confident, curious person. And we can never have too much of those. =)
~ Shannon Black, Founder/Co-Owner of Jarrell Montessori
